like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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