so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
