I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
