Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
