my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
