I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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