Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
