I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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