Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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