gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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