Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
