Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
