in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
