yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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