Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
