Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
