Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
