I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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