Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
