I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
