Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
