Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
