All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
