Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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