you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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