you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it because I queefed?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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