What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
