and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
