there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
