what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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