is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
