In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
