youre lurking in front of me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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