dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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