Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
