So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
