What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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