remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
