Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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