the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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