i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
