i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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