Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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