You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
