I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
