I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
