I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
