Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
