i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
