Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
