Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
