If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Please don't give away my fajitas
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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