We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
